59:51What Mentally Healthy Men Do Differently - Tim Arrigo
Mark Laita interviews Tim Arrigo, a licensed counselor who spent his teens and twenties as an IV heroin addict on the streets and now coaches married men in crisis. Arrigo says that after more than 5,000 men the finding never changes: underneath the affair, the drinking, the workaholism and the fifth marriage sits one belief, that I am not enough, and only the coping strategy separates the millionaire from the man on the street. He argues healthy families are defined by better repair rather than less conflict, that the narcissist label absolves everyone and heals no one, that contempt is the last stop before divorce and men usually build it by going passive, and that what feels like attraction is usually recognition, the survival brain steering toward a dynamic it has already lived through. He is blunt about the limits of therapy, having worked twelve years inside it, and about men now using ChatGPT to text their wives. Laita adds the dividing line his own seven years of interviews taught him: some of us see ourselves as victims and some of us are survivors.
